Anatomy of a bad Shanghai morning (with the good bits in parentheses):
* 4-year-old waking up with a torrential nosebleed
* other 4-year-old enthusiastically demanding 2nd and 3rds on breakfast, and getting fruit stains all over school uniform
* no clean uniform to change into
* bus missed
* mom still in PJs, needing to walk dog, shower and dress
* no taxis for 15 mins.
* kids going to be 1 hour late for school
* halfway to school - in a taxi at last! - realizing you've left cell phone at home
* all the way to school - realizing there is no money in wallet and no value on transportation card
* (improving Chinese skills permit you to explain to driver that you have just discovered you have no money, but will go to the ATM in the next building and return with his money)
* kids safely dropped at school
* attend Chinese class, which kicks your butt as have not done homework
* next taxi drops you at totally wrong place
* walking the extra distance to next destination, step squarely on something warm and brown, which squirts all over your other be-sandaled foot
* (squishy object fortunately ?? turns out to be an unusually large soup dumpling)
* arrive at a KFC and decide to clean up and have a snack inside
* very carefully squirt out ketchup onto tray, thinking that that would just put the crowning touch your morning if it went onto your clothes
* (ketchup goes just where it's supposed to)
* and then casually pick up your large Pepsi and realize too late that the lid is the wrong size, as 12 oz. of Pepsi gushes onto your skirt
* (person sitting across from you hands over napkins and smiles sympathetically)
* (improving Chinese skills allow you to carefully enunciate: "I am currently having a very not-good day.")