Rules to Live By, Thanks to the Folks at the Pearl Tower

This gave us our first really good laugh since arriving in China a few days ago. Please note that I am not poking fun at poor English, because it's actually not poor at all. It's quite elegant and poetic, in fact. It just conjures up some very funny images.

Notes for Entering the Tower
1. The ragamuffin, drunken people and psychotics are forbidden to enter the Tower.
2. No smoking at non-appointed spot.
3. Prohibit carrying tinder and exploders (banger, match, lighter); restricted cutters (kitchen knife, scissors, fruit knife, sword, and so on); and metal-made electric appliance.
4. Prohibit carrying animals and the articles which disturb common sanitation (including the peculiar smell of effluvium).
5. Prohibit carrying the articles which can destroy and pollute inner environment of the Tower.
6. Prohibit carrying dangerous germs, pests and other baleful biology. Forbid any articles from epidemic areas.
7. Prohibit hanging streamer, slogan, and any other prints in the Tower, including for commerce, politics, religion and so on.
8. The cubage of liquid article which the tourist carries can't exceed 100 ml. And the liquid article must be put at the appointed spot to accept examination. After confirmed, it can be carried into the Tower. The interloper carrying contraband will be punished seriously by police.

I'm afraid to say we took a pair of ragamuffins in with us. But, tempting though it was, we left our tinder, swords, blenders, Avian Flu chickens, and containers of effluvium at home. Also our baleful biology (my personal favorite).