Well, live and learn.

All the special things we have been doing to think of James in his absence seem to have backfired. Emi, who is his special girl, is just woefully missing him. I think the video chats in particular make his absence more apparent. Every time we end one of the video chats, she says one of two things, either: "No, no, no!" or (with sad face) "We lost daddy."

On Saturday she had a total meltdown when we were trying to leave our friend Deb's house. Deb's husband Shaun had been letting all the kids tickle him and Emi was thrilled. After we got home she melted down all over again, sat against the door to the basement in her coat and shoes sobbing that she wanted to go back to Deb's house to play with "the mommies and the daddies" (Shaun was the only daddy there) and to "tickle Henry and Owen's daddy." Everytime I tried to take her coat or shoes off, she kicked me a dozen or so times. All I kept thinking was that I was glad she doesn't tantrum very often!

I think all the special James things we were doing were just like ripping off a bandaid over and over again. Out of sight, out of mind is probably a better approach to take with a toddler. When they are a little older it will be different, I hope.

Otherwise we had a decent weekend though it was grey, cold, windy, and rainy with only a few "sunbreaks" today. This morning we went over to Tracy's to play with her cats, and had an Easter picnic on a tablecloth on her floor. Then we went out on the dock and threw gravel in the water. In the afternoon we went to an Easter party at Kim and Rob's house with lots of kids and lots of food. Emi learned the hard way that it is not a good idea to try to eat a chocolate egg with the tinfoil still on it. Of the two of them, she is definitely the chocoholic. Tuck can take it or leave it. He is more of a fruit and cookie boy in the sweets department.

Sunday evening would have been difficult but some good friends came over with a playmate, cake, and diapers, which we were nearly out of. Tuck flirted outrageously with our friend Kris, who read stories to the kids so I could walk the dog and get ready for their bedtime. Emi is still subdued. But they both had a great time playing with gears that were supposed to be a Christmas present from James' parents but got lost during our move. We found them a couple of weeks ago and I decided to save them for a rainy day. This was the rainy day, for sure.